So close...no...not really.

A-"What's the name of that duck guy in Batman who walks around with an umbrella?"
Me-"The Penguin. 'Cause he's a penguin. Not a duck."
A-"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense."

Proud to claim half this DNA

A-"I know smart...and those kids are NOT smart."

If ever was a time for a boob job.

A-"When I get bigger, I hope God gives me long breasts like you."
Me-"BIG. Call them BIG."

You should hear her "Where babies come from" talk.

A-"Do you wear a bra to keep your breasts warm?
Me-"No, they hold them up."
A-"Oh. Some need help and some don't?"
E-"Right. There are independent boobs and needy boobs. "

Children-Killers of Self Esteem

E-"I love you, Snickelfritz."
A-"I love *you*, Hippopotamus."
E-"Is that a fat joke?"
A-"No! It's a REALLY fat joke!"

Walker, Texas Ranger and the Three Bears

Me-"What kind of bedtime story do you want?"
A-"How about me and Chuck Norris?"